Mmmmm Hot Fries...

Why do I continue to stuff piping hot french fries in my mouth even though the skin on my finger tips is bleeding from the burns and my tongue is screaming with pain? Because they're hot, that's why. They will be cold in approximately 29 seconds, thus I must stuff them in my mouth and enjoy them hot. Or not enjoy them. Tear up from the pain, actually. Can't even taste them because they are too hot and I have to kind of whistle through my lips to cool them off so that they don't scorch my larynx. I know my throat has the Rocking R Ranch symbol branded down the left side because I have to tilt my head so only one side feels it. I barely even have time to salt them before they get cold. This is unfortunate because salty hot fries are even better than hot fries. Driving and eating hot fries is dangerous because my fingers are greasy and steering is hard. It does not stop me however because I must exit the drive-thru before the fries get cold. And now I only have 27 seconds to eat hot fries.